Star Wars Can Be Pretty HOT!!!

June 24, 2010
Here is a list of quotes from the Star Wars Trilogy that can have alot of awkward sexual context.

I thought this was funny. Enjoy.

"Take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at isn't it?"

"Look at the size of that thing!"

"I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm."

"Myself, the boy, two droids, and no questions asked."

"So, you have a twin sister. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me."

"Oh yes, that's very good. I like that ... oh, something's not right because now I can't see."

"Point that thing somewhere else!"

"You came in that? You're braver than I thought."

"I have felt him, my master."

"No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE."

"I don't care what you smell, you big, furry oaf - get in there!"

"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid!"

"I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money."

"What is thy bidding, my master?"

"Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

"There's an awful lot of moisture in there."

"This one a long time have I watched."

"Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself."

"Good relations with the Wookiees I have."

"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"

"You had a plan for getting in, you didn't have a plan for getting out?!"

"If you give it to me, I might forget I found you."

"No it didn't go in, just impacted on the surface!"

"You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!"

"So. You got your reward and you're just leaving, then?"

"At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi."

The Morning Wood Show 4/14/10

April 15, 2010
The Morning Wood Show


This week on the show our heroes mourn the loss of the hilarious Kelly Anneken (She is taking a 2 month leave from the show.) and welcome her temporary stand in Michael Scott Wells!!!

Then we proceed to talk and comment about the Chinese freighter that destroyed 2 miles of the great barrier reef in Australia, while trying not to make a cheap joke about why chinese sailors can't drive. Then go about comparing Ferngully to Avatar.

Then we investigate the newly re...
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When Doves Cry... I Guess

April 11, 2010
So I'm leaving the show at the Jam house.

Nothing weird happening. Nada out of the ordinary.

As I'm getting into the car I see I dove land on the branch right above my windshield. "Wow," I thought. "That's actually a pure white dove. I've never seen one of those up close before." I begin to muse about what a truly beautiful sight this is and what the wonderful omens this could mean for me.

This was after all a dove. A majestic symbol of peace, togetherness, and love between humanity....
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Senior Year... Or, how I learned to stop worrying and use the lotion.

April 11, 2010

Random Online quiz about your senior year of high school. Will probably entertain me more than you.


This out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was,
the more fun the answers will be!! At the end, choose 10 people (or
more) to be tagged. You have to...
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Equality in a 5 minute audition

April 11, 2010

So tonight at the Comedy Off Broadway Show at Miss Pearl's Jam House in Oakland was auditions for an agency that represents comics. Naturally, this resulted in a huge turn out of comedians from all over the bay area who wanted a shot to be seen by the rep.

In some ways this was really cool. For instance I was able to hang out with a lot of Comics I don't see too often like Tina Allen, who I think is one of the funniest ladies I've ever met. And other people i see all the time like Big Al G...
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The Morning Wood Show 4/7/10

April 8, 2010
The Morning Wood Show

The "Live Theatre" edition

Today Greg and Kelly host the lovely members of Piano Fights Monday Night Foreplay! They are a great sketch comedy troupe in San Francisco. We had members Nicole Hammersla (coolest name ever!!!) & Jessica Mele in studio with us, and had a conga line of other members calling in during the first hour of the show! They will also be using a sketch written by our own Kelly Anneken! Please go see this great group. Show and ticket info can be found belo...
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The Morning Wood Show 3/31/10

April 4, 2010
The Morning Wood Show 3/31/10

Hey Jesus? Wak-ey, wak-ey, eggs and bac-key!!!

It's the Easter Edition of the Morning Wood Show! On this episode Greg and Kelly mourn the absence of James Fluty.

Then talk about the Christian Superbowl that is the resurrection of Christ and Kelly's Catholic up bringing. We celebrate Jesus by playing clips from "Jesus Christ Superstar" & "Godspell."

Also Kelly wages war against the Shell station on 17th & Potrero in San Francisco. Then Kelly spits some game out to th...
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When Harry Met Cyclops - And Other Movies that would be better with Superheroes

April 4, 2010
Take a well-known movie title and mash it up with a superhero. Because everything's better with superheroes, right?

The Talented Mr. Mxyzptlk

Dances With Wolverine

The Curious Case of Benjamin Grimm

March of the Penguin

Scent of an Invisible Woman

The Aquaman Who Wasn't There

Mr. Miracle on 34th Street

Die Hard: With Avengers

The Phantom vs the Menace

The Spidey Sense

The Muppets Take Doctor Manhattan

Fried Green Lantern Tomatoes

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